In this world, where every single person, it seems, can read between the lines, interpret body language, pick apart your tone and inflection, is face value meaningless?
I live life as a writer, whose main bread and butter is copy and ghost writing–I inherently live my life in a fairly duplicitous manner due to this occupation, so when I deal with people on a personal, real level, I try to be the opposite. I put forth an effort to always say only what I mean, no double speak or gorilla dust, if you will. When I do this though, I feel like my every utterance is subject to dissection, at will, by the world as a whole.
Am I the failure here? Is our society so used to expecting the lies that no one can be trusted to be speaking the truth at any moment?
I swear from the moment I walk out the door, I feel like I’m being constantly profiled. From my tone, to the length of pauses in between every word, to my body language, no longer are my words what carries the weight, it’s now the entire package. As someone who puts a fairly exhaustive amount of thought and effort into the words I choose, to think that I have to put on a performance for every single person I encounter simply to emphasize that the words I’m saying are what I actually mean, my mind has been blown. Seriously, little explosions allover my skull. Hair still sizzling. All that shit.
I’m averaging four hours of sleep a night. I’m exhausted as it is, and that’s just from trying like hell to make something of myself in an industry that requires no less than ALL of you. When I have a conversation with someone, I respect them enough to say exactly what I mean, regardless of what my tone or body language says. Perhaps the world can start to respect me enough to accept that.