Decisions about TV are the hardest decisions of all.

Something must be said for the fact that I find myself comparing cable TV options. Have spent entirely too long at the mercy of other’s choices for my television viewing options and have missed the simple things, really, like Comedy Central or my choice of HBO, Starz, Showtime or what-the-hell-ever new premium channels have borne themselves into existence in the past few years since I have found myself beholden to paying a cable bill.

I’ve toyed, of course, with the possibility of abandoning the medium and simply indulging myself in the premium streaming services, but with those, if the internet is a mess, which is apparently every time the wind blows in this particular part of the country, I’d be without the comforting glowy-glow of the screen to lull me into forgetting that those who are supposed to care, not really caring as they should. Ahh, memories of childhood, man: priceless!

No, I need the TV. And the tv needs me. No, really, it does, it’s not like it can turn itself on! Turning itself off, however, it has that covered. Every day. I’d think I should go see a doctor about this habit that televisions have around me, but really, I’d likely be better off visiting an electrician…

[Disclaimer: Links in this post were sponsored, however, the thoughts provided about television, my latch-key childhood, and my.. Well… Addiction to telvision… Were fully my own.]

The Simpsons. Fucking Again.

A week or so ago, I wrote a post that was really hard for me. I wrote about the decline of ‘The Simpsons’ and just how hard it is for me to watch it happen. The key thing you should pick up on in that last sentence is that I used the present tense of ‘watch’. Up until this week, I could personally say I have seen every episode that has aired….but…

I can’t do this Ned & Edna thing. The screenshot on Hulu was enough for me to finally put it down and say no more. There are a lot of things I can deal with. I can deal with you telling me that Homer and Marge had these amazing college years that we know they didn’t have. I can deal with you telling me that Lisa fell for Milhouse, cos nerd love kind of makes sense….but…

Ned Flanders and the bitterest and most cynical of all the elementary teachers in existence? No. Just no. I’m not going to watch it and fuck you, Simpson’s writers for thinking I will.

The Fall of Sam Axe holds its own compared to Burn Notice (Outside Content)

While traveling across this great country, one thing has become clear to this Examiner: while characters are always welcome at the motels and hotels across this great land, and they are always welcome on the USA Network, the USA Network itself is not always available across these united states of America. As it happened, this Examiner…Click to continue reading.

The Simpsons: Hope as we may decline was inevitable.

So it’s come to this: A Simpsons decline. We knew it would happen, it had to. Nothing good can stay that way forever..eventually Johnny retired. The space shuttles deemed too old to launch. Hell there was a time when Lorne had to walk away from SNL.

The Simpsons just aren’t funny anymore. We knew we would see this day eventually, every act will become stale if kept around for long enough and it has happened with our favorite dysfunctional yellow family.

The recent crop of Simpsons episodes have been penned by relatively new writers, who it seems have maybe grown up with the show like all of us and while they have certainly found the voices for individual characters, they seem to be lacking in the ability to find that voice for an entire episodes worth of material. Episodes seem disjointed and hacky as of late, with even the initial “A” story coming off as crammed into an episode that has already seen an opening drawn out to nearly three minutes.

And let’s get real about this, how many times can you re-write this family’s history?!? I know flashback shows are easy to write, even for animation, but it kind of comes off like we know the Simpsons history better than the writing room…when exactly will the room wise up and realize that the Simpsons did it?

I adore The Simpsons, I do, but maybe it’s time to find a way to bow out gracefully for our favorite family, before the thing that I’ve adored since I was a kid watching it with my dad becomes a mockery of my childhood.

>Review: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip+Why it failed.

>I had a Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip marathon recently with Marctastic. Because that’s what “writers” do. We sit around and watch shows to relax by watching people write. Swear to christ, you couldn’t make this shit up. I write about a television show (Burn Notice), a couple of bands (Mindless Self Indulgence, Blues Traveler), and all of my asinine crap about losing weight and trying to become a more sexually well-rounded being…..and I relax with 22 hours of watching Ms. Chanandeler Bong stress about getting 90 minutes worth of funny on the air Friday night.

And I was entranced the entire fucking time. Between the die hard liberal beliefs of the aforementioned Ms. Bong and the way his character related to the right leaning Christian that he was in love/hate with for the entirety of his career as a decent television writer….

But the thing that killed the show, the thing that became glaringly obvious as the last few episodes of the show amounted to a mini-series about a POW Iraqi soldier, Aaron Sorkin was still entirely too hung up on politics to take on Hollywood. Still too mired in Iraq and a the religious divide brought on by the war that never-ended….and in that refusal to move on, a really good show was lost.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a ginormous 30 Rock fan, and the fact that two shows essentially taking on Saturday Night Live while Saturday Night Live was still on the air spelled failure for at least one of them. 3 hours of network programming just cannot be dedicated to a single concept. Unless that concept is related to a huge amount of prize money. So Studio 60 lost the battle. Not because 30 Rock is necessarily a better show, truth be told, I couldn’t be pressed to pick a hands down favorite between the two–but because Aaron Sorkin went with the war for the cold open. And then ran it to the ground for three episodes leading up to what was the series finale.

I hate that this war lasted longer than the three weeks we were expected to be in it back at the beginning. I hate so much more that we are still in Iraq, 5 years after Studio 60 has come and gone…..

I thought 30 Rock owned the whole “hard to watch” joke….but fucking hell, if Studio 60 didn’t pull it on us a few years back.

>The Office

>The Office is a show that I have a love/hate relationship. Love in that, I adore the American version and hate in that, I sometimes love and sometimes abhor the English version.

It’s not the show’s fault really, I do like Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant is the bee’s knees…

My problem lies in this…even after spending plenty of time working for an English office. And even after getting to a point where I could clearly and concisely understand exactly what all of my Americanized English co-workers and all of the employees in the English office…I can’t fucking get through an episode without having to go back several times just to understand wtf is going on.

This is an issue because I suffer from the same problem as a lot of people my age, I don’t watch shit on TV anymore. I watch it on the oh-so-awesome Hulu.

Again, usually not an issue-but for some godforsaken reason, no one bothered to check that the Office UK is subtitled. I shit you not. You can go check now, seriously, here’s a fully loaded episode and everything. I’ll wait.

Even with the John Oliver voice over that we all lovingly remember that appeared before the show anytime it aired on BBC…no subtitles.

Until that situation gets remedied, I refuse to watch. You heard me right. I’m refusing to watch a show that has been off the air for several years now. Way to take a stand!

Anyway, said all that to say this:
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>WORD UP!!

>
It would seem that Cameo’s (major) hit ‘Word Up’ turns 25 this year. The video, featured above, is a rousing mix of very well choreographed dance moves…..and more blue lights than one’s eyes can really take in.

All with LeVar Burton. The awesome, magnificent Geordi La Forge. In a trench coat. With some of the sharpest dance moves I’ve seen….well ever. Not big into watching dancing. Just not a past time of mine. Meh.

Anyway, well the point of this (other than to ramble on about how cool the Reading Rainbow cat is), was to introduce this….

(Let me preface by saying it’s been around forever, but too awesome not to post)

This is the German band “The BossHoss” doing a most awesome country-fried version of the Cameo classic.

With more of a twang that anyone ever I’ve known to have in Texas. Score.