Cheeky MF! Walk it off theory applied to car care!

I’m really bad at taking care of my cars. Like really bad. My dad worked in auto parts and most men in his family are mechanics so to be fair, I was pretty spoiled in that respect growing up. I never had to worry about when to change my oil or what to do if my car made funny noises. The maintenance was done like clockwork and funny noises were solved by simply switching keys with my dad. Oh, and getting a hour long lecture. (at least.)

Upon becoming a grown up, I married someone who knew less about car care than I did…so we maybe changed our oil like once every 10k miles or so. And somehow managed to get lectures from strangers down at Jiffy Lube. In all honesty, the lectures just make me want to deal with the realities of spending anything other than gas money and insurance cash on my vehicle. So it was, I owned cheap cars and got three years out of it before they crapped out. Usual culprit being a busted tranny due to fluid negligence.

If my car acted up I would talk to it in a soothing voice and tell that fucker to “Walk it off…” I’d get home and check the fluids, almost always be a quart low on oil, fill her up and keep on trucking. Then I got white lightning. I changed my oil, I replaced fuel filters, I took fucking care of that car…and a year and two months after buying it, I got t-boned by a crazy lady and the insurance check didn’t even pay it off completely.

Now I’m back to cheap cars..$650 minivan to be more specific, and my actions today speak very clearly, the Voyager gets to walk it off. At a cost of about a quart of oil every two days. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

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