CheekyMF! These dreams are all nightmares.

I’ve always been a huge fan of sleep. It is easily on the top of the list of my favorite things to do. It’s not that I’m lazy or I sleep all the time, quite the opposite actually. I’m a chronic insomniac; by design, not choice. As a result I crave sleep. I’m like a junkie itching for that next taste of sweet, sweet Lady H. And of course my favorite part of sleep is the dreams.

As a youngster I spent entirely too much time reading up on lucid dreaming and at around the age of 22, I finally accomplished it one night. Best. Dream. Ever. Once I realized I was in a dream, I took control, started flying around a certain big blue box retailer and hurling fireballs around a la “Charmed” Demons. Jolly good fun, I say!

During my journeys though I have come across a not so nice side effect of the actions and tricks required to make lucid dreaming possible: sleep paralysis. It’s the worst, the absolute worst. It’s a state in which the mind is able to wake up, in my case quite often, my eyes are able to open and close and my vocal chords are able to produce some type of muttering, just not quite the words my mind is trying to force it to say. This happened to me one night while W. was giving a State of the Union address and I was napping. My eyes shot open, my ears could hear and I spent the next 45 minutes trying to force my..well…anything to move until finally my body caught up with the rest of me and I shot up on the couch.

Lately all I seem to be having are nightmares when I sleep. Nightmares are apparently the trigger for sleep paralysis in me. The lucid dreaming tricks are so second nature to me that when in a dream, my triggers are almost always present. And my mind always wants to explore that, but I have found that if I do when all that’s occurring are nightmares I end up in dire straits of sleep paralysis that have gotten to the point where they wake both M and my dog up. Not good. So no more lucid dreaming=no more sleep paralysis. Fair enough. But now what do I do to just stop the fucking nightmares?!?

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