CheekyMF! Review: The Simpsons Tapped Out game.

Let me start by saying, this game is reserved for those who truly just hate themselves. I’m not sure quite what happened here, but EA produced this game in conjunction with Fox and decided to, I suppose, test the waters with a small marketing campaign on Hulu. Within hours, the ads had been pulled, the server had crashed and those who did get what has ultimately become a beta test of the game..well, we were in for an adventure that’s turned out to be more heartache than silly fun.

As it stands in this “Farmville-esque” take on Springfield’s first family, I have no less than 28 distinct “universes” saved under my username. When I first downloaded the game, it would crash almost as soon as the little movie would start up, unsure whether this was due to my phone’s overwhelmingly outdated capacity or the game itself–I kept trying. Each load attempt resulted in an individual universe being created and saved. Now, every time I open the game up, I have to cycle through a vast majority of the 28 to get to the only active universe I have.

Don’t ask me how, but I’ve somehow managed to get to Level 11. ‘Twas no easy task though. Even in that universe, if I can’t manage to exit out of the game in just the right way, (Have I not mentioned the lack of a ‘Save’ function yet? WTF?!? Seriously, EA, this is Gaming 101!!!!), the next time I manage to win the universe lottery and get into my actual game, all of the Springfeldians are back at the tasks I previously freed them from. Any new buildings that should be “under construction” have now mysteriously disappeared. Every step forward takes me at least one back.

As of the last time I checked, this game was still not listed as available in the app store after having been pulled just a day or so after the initial release. I’m half expecting that when it is available, and I delete and re-install, I can rid myself of the excess baggage created when the initial server meltdown re-enacted the Nuclear meltdown that the game was based upon. Well, that’s what I hope at least. Until then, I will still play it. Still attempt my hardest to level up even though the time spent playing the actual game is nothing compared to the time I spend just trying to load it all proper like.

And of course, I will still mutter “fuck!” under my breath every time I tap Homer ten times in a row and I am not awarded a free donut as I was promised in the initial advertisement for the game.

I’ve come this far, why stop with the mindless torture now?

UPDATE: EA has finally responded to the issue, but with a solution that may or may not be something one would consider “acceptable” from a company who IS gaming. For more, see: mayacadence.info

CheekyMF! Review: The Simpson’s 500th Episode.

I’ve forced myself to sit with this one for a few days before giving my thoughts. Well, that’s not entirely true, I’ve written no less than ten drafts of a post covering every thought I could possibly have about the 22 minute milestone I watched Sunday evening. And I mean every thought. All ended up in the trash.

The truth is, I liked it. As much as the plot was a rehashed variation of the main plot point of the film, so much so, that this plot might have been a better film, if just for the fact that we all knew eventually it would come to this, so why even bother with the entire dome aspect of the plot? Back to my point….It felt really sweet.

Am I aware that no less than 24 hours prior to this episode, I had a conversation with someone who pointed out that the series has become less about the dysfunction of a family and more a portrait of a functional family in today’s society? Yes, of course, but still.

500 episodes, or roughly 183.33 hours of my life have gone by watching this oddly coiffed slice of American family life. 23 years of making sure I got to the television set on time every Sunday, or Thursday….and I swear to deity there were a couple of Tuesdays thrown in there just to fuck with our heads.

I’ve seen them succumb to repeating their history, and leaving more altered versions of the future than Heroes could have ever hoped for…but this time, I was pretty OK with it all.

You sucked me with the nostalgia, guys, and for that, I thank you.

The Simpsons. Yet Again.

I’m writing this post as it would seem my most popular posts are Simpson’s related. And well, I do have something to say about the series being renewed for it’s final two seasons.

Being in the position that I am…and knowing what I know about the current and most recent Simpson’s writers room..well, it’s for the best.

The creators of the series, the writers of some of the more notable episodes of the first few seasons, well, they all moved on. In their place was a cascading series of new writers who could certainly capture distinct character voices, but could rarely capture the entire tone of the show…

What transpired, most notably in the recent years, were episodes that came off as…disjointed. Story lines came about that were unbelievable, and quite frankly, completely off-book as far as the Simpson’s canon goes….

Perhaps they will use these last two seasons to re-unite. Come together for the purpose of bringing the fans some decent closure….

I’ll cross my fingers for it at least…

The Simpsons. Fucking Again.

A week or so ago, I wrote a post that was really hard for me. I wrote about the decline of ‘The Simpsons’ and just how hard it is for me to watch it happen. The key thing you should pick up on in that last sentence is that I used the present tense of ‘watch’. Up until this week, I could personally say I have seen every episode that has aired….but…

I can’t do this Ned & Edna thing. The screenshot on Hulu was enough for me to finally put it down and say no more. There are a lot of things I can deal with. I can deal with you telling me that Homer and Marge had these amazing college years that we know they didn’t have. I can deal with you telling me that Lisa fell for Milhouse, cos nerd love kind of makes sense….but…

Ned Flanders and the bitterest and most cynical of all the elementary teachers in existence? No. Just no. I’m not going to watch it and fuck you, Simpson’s writers for thinking I will.